"I love pee-ung pee-ung"
translation - "I love gun"
Marcus put together a sentence today... Although it was to tell me how much he loves toy guns.
He has got one hot personality. He's a flirt, he can be so sweet yet so whiny. That high pitched noise he makes drives me crazy on bad days. He doesn't want to use his words yet haha. He copies EVERYTHING TITUS DOES. Literally everything. EVERYTHING. Good thing Titus is turning out ok so far. haha.
also in other news..
MARCUS CAN EAT ALL PURPOSE FLOUR!!
i repeat...
MARCUS CAN EAT REGULAR BREAD!!
His poop wasn't great but no other negative signs.
God is gooooooooood. Hallelujah!!
I wish there was a larger font to convey my excitement.
Today he ate an in n out burger for the first time and enjoyed many vegan cupcakes for Titus' birthday celebration.
Booger #2 is 1 year 7 months 29 days old.
Saturday, May 21, 2016
Mom Post
I was trying to maintain a personal journal and a kids journal and it got too overwhelming so I decided to just combine everything here. No one really reads this but hopefully I can figure out some different settings.
The first half of 2016 was personally a very dark time. I think I am finally able to write some words down because I am slowly coming out of it. The last time I experienced this type of depression was 10-12 years ago. I was hesitant to admit to myself that I was going through a similar period because it took a long time and a lot of work to get myself out of it and to build something stronger in my life. But if I think of it that way, it must mean something stronger and meaningful is at the horizon waiting to greet me.
Once I was able to admit this, I wanted to seek help asap so that I could be present for my children. I don't want to this to affect my ability to be a mother.
A culmination of little things here and there the past few weeks has reawakened my awareness of just how much my God personally loves me. I used to think of it in different terms but I realized - if I constantly want to tell my kids and husband that I love them, and I feel compelled to show them any chance I get and I want to hear it and feel it from them all the time as well... God constantly wants to tell me and show me how much he loves me. And I believe He is constantly pouring out love at every minute (I don't think it is passive)... I just need to be aware of it and be able to receive it. Also, it is a foreign and awkward concept for me because of my background... but this also made me realize that I am worthy and I can expect and want to be showered by His Love ALL THE TIME.
A lot of realizing going on over here... I hope some of it sticks.
Mental Bookmarks:
- Larry Mantle segment - The American tradition of modifying, tweaking, and customizing our meals.
http://www.scpr.org/programs/airtalk/2016/05/20/49049/the-american-tradition-of-modifying-tweaking-and-c/
American individualism, need to be special.
- Invisibilia Podcast, Episode 1 The Secret History of Thoughts
Theories of counseling/therapy are evolving on what it means to have negative thoughts and how to deal with them.
- Inside Out Pixar Movie
Way too many feelings. Had a good cry.. something I haven't been able to do for a few years.
The first half of 2016 was personally a very dark time. I think I am finally able to write some words down because I am slowly coming out of it. The last time I experienced this type of depression was 10-12 years ago. I was hesitant to admit to myself that I was going through a similar period because it took a long time and a lot of work to get myself out of it and to build something stronger in my life. But if I think of it that way, it must mean something stronger and meaningful is at the horizon waiting to greet me.
Once I was able to admit this, I wanted to seek help asap so that I could be present for my children. I don't want to this to affect my ability to be a mother.
A culmination of little things here and there the past few weeks has reawakened my awareness of just how much my God personally loves me. I used to think of it in different terms but I realized - if I constantly want to tell my kids and husband that I love them, and I feel compelled to show them any chance I get and I want to hear it and feel it from them all the time as well... God constantly wants to tell me and show me how much he loves me. And I believe He is constantly pouring out love at every minute (I don't think it is passive)... I just need to be aware of it and be able to receive it. Also, it is a foreign and awkward concept for me because of my background... but this also made me realize that I am worthy and I can expect and want to be showered by His Love ALL THE TIME.
A lot of realizing going on over here... I hope some of it sticks.
Mental Bookmarks:
- Larry Mantle segment - The American tradition of modifying, tweaking, and customizing our meals.
http://www.scpr.org/programs/airtalk/2016/05/20/49049/the-american-tradition-of-modifying-tweaking-and-c/
American individualism, need to be special.
- Invisibilia Podcast, Episode 1 The Secret History of Thoughts
Theories of counseling/therapy are evolving on what it means to have negative thoughts and how to deal with them.
- Inside Out Pixar Movie
Way too many feelings. Had a good cry.. something I haven't been able to do for a few years.
Saturday, January 30, 2016
Titus said today...
"What's your favorite color?" - Dad
"White" - Titus
I've never met someone who's favorite color is white.. And your dad said "I don't think that's his real favorite color." So we asked you again.
"Black" - Titus
Both very Titus-like answers
"White" - Titus
I've never met someone who's favorite color is white.. And your dad said "I don't think that's his real favorite color." So we asked you again.
"Black" - Titus
Both very Titus-like answers
Thursday, January 28, 2016
Eating apples and counting to ten
Marcus
We went to the La Canada park in the morning. It had been awhile since we made the trip out there with just the two of us. By the time we were leaving, you were delirious and ready for your nap.
As I was watching you eat your apple before your nap, I wanted to absorb all, every bit, of your face. But there was too much joy, so much wonder and excitement in your eyes, your double dimples... too many things to take in all at once. I love this phase. I remember with your brother as well. That small window of a time when you haven't been tainted by discipline and you can be a free spirit that we appreciate.. since you can't cause too much destruction or disruption yet.
I changed you into a t-shirt before your nap. It's the first time you've worn one without scratching yourself since you were 5 months old. Thank God your eczema has gotten better. I don't know if it's conditioning from only wearing long sleeves for the past year, but you didn't scratch. Praise the Lord.
You're learning many words now. Most recently "Elmo" "McQueen" "Up"
You understand most of our commands. It's an amazing time when you are learning how to label items with words.
In our house, we count to 10. If there is something that needs to be done, we give you until 10. If you need to get ready for bed, put away your toys, etc. And if you don't do it by 10 by your own free will, you are just forced to do it our way (mom and dad's way). You understand that. Sometimes you even interject my counting with an "okaaaay". We go through the counting to 10 almost every night. I think you incorporate it into your own bedtime routine. You also rub your eyes and scratch both of your ears right before you fall asleep. As for me and your bedtime routine, I've recited the following to you every night since you were a few months old...
We went to the La Canada park in the morning. It had been awhile since we made the trip out there with just the two of us. By the time we were leaving, you were delirious and ready for your nap.
As I was watching you eat your apple before your nap, I wanted to absorb all, every bit, of your face. But there was too much joy, so much wonder and excitement in your eyes, your double dimples... too many things to take in all at once. I love this phase. I remember with your brother as well. That small window of a time when you haven't been tainted by discipline and you can be a free spirit that we appreciate.. since you can't cause too much destruction or disruption yet.
I changed you into a t-shirt before your nap. It's the first time you've worn one without scratching yourself since you were 5 months old. Thank God your eczema has gotten better. I don't know if it's conditioning from only wearing long sleeves for the past year, but you didn't scratch. Praise the Lord.
You're learning many words now. Most recently "Elmo" "McQueen" "Up"
You understand most of our commands. It's an amazing time when you are learning how to label items with words.
In our house, we count to 10. If there is something that needs to be done, we give you until 10. If you need to get ready for bed, put away your toys, etc. And if you don't do it by 10 by your own free will, you are just forced to do it our way (mom and dad's way). You understand that. Sometimes you even interject my counting with an "okaaaay". We go through the counting to 10 almost every night. I think you incorporate it into your own bedtime routine. You also rub your eyes and scratch both of your ears right before you fall asleep. As for me and your bedtime routine, I've recited the following to you every night since you were a few months old...
Because I love you very much my precious little one
Your hugs and smiles make each day bright, just like the shining sun
Because I love you, we find fun in every game we play
If there are little bumps, I like to kiss them all away
We love to dance through raindrops,
We splash in all the puddles
Then run inside to cuddle up for fairy tales and cuddles
Not everyday is sunshine, but everyday is fun,
and everyday's the best because I love you little one.
God is so good - sing it 4x a night
(with kisses in between the phrases during the 4th time.)
"koo jah time, good night, i love you."
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Watch what you say.
Titus
We don't cuss. I don't think your dad ever cusses. Although I heard he had a potty mouth back in the day. I say a few bad words here and there... But we are quickly realizing that those things are not what really matters... Our every day language has been copied into your brains since day one. It has been a slow process learning how to speak, how to imitate, articulate your ideas, with words that you guys have absorbed. Therefore, I don't know how long it would take to try to "undo" some of that.
Words/phrases I wish I could take back
what the heck?
for the more obvious reasons.
right.
Titus you add the word "right" to the end many many statements. Because that's what I had done for so long to make sure the recipient understood me. "Mom, today is Monday right?" "Mom, this is a book right?" "Mom, Marcus can't do that right?" This is currently a really annoying problem. Because I am now hearing how often I say it myself and your "right"s are getting out of control.
what.
My response when someone calls me. Titus' response to when someone calls him. We're trying to change it to "yes" or "yea". My "what" isn't nice sounding. It's an irritated response.. and Titus, you copy that inflection.
This is a word that even Marcus uses now, in the correct context though (thankfully). Marcus' response to his name is usually "huuuh?"
Today -
"What's the weather like today Mommy? Sunny and cold?" - Titus
"I don't know" - Mommy
"Can you check the weather?" - Titus
"I think it will be sunny but not cold." - Mommy, looking out the window
"No Mommy, can you check the weather?" - Titus, waiting for me to check the weather on my phone.
(A common occurrence between your dad and I on the weekends)
"Mommy, you are really good at driving" - Titus on the way to school.
I will remind you of this in the future. haha
So much English now. We really don't speak a lot of Korean at home these days.
We're debating whether to send you to the same dual language program as your cousins for elementary school.
We don't cuss. I don't think your dad ever cusses. Although I heard he had a potty mouth back in the day. I say a few bad words here and there... But we are quickly realizing that those things are not what really matters... Our every day language has been copied into your brains since day one. It has been a slow process learning how to speak, how to imitate, articulate your ideas, with words that you guys have absorbed. Therefore, I don't know how long it would take to try to "undo" some of that.
Words/phrases I wish I could take back
what the heck?
for the more obvious reasons.
right.
Titus you add the word "right" to the end many many statements. Because that's what I had done for so long to make sure the recipient understood me. "Mom, today is Monday right?" "Mom, this is a book right?" "Mom, Marcus can't do that right?" This is currently a really annoying problem. Because I am now hearing how often I say it myself and your "right"s are getting out of control.
what.
My response when someone calls me. Titus' response to when someone calls him. We're trying to change it to "yes" or "yea". My "what" isn't nice sounding. It's an irritated response.. and Titus, you copy that inflection.
This is a word that even Marcus uses now, in the correct context though (thankfully). Marcus' response to his name is usually "huuuh?"
Today -
"What's the weather like today Mommy? Sunny and cold?" - Titus
"I don't know" - Mommy
"Can you check the weather?" - Titus
"I think it will be sunny but not cold." - Mommy, looking out the window
"No Mommy, can you check the weather?" - Titus, waiting for me to check the weather on my phone.
(A common occurrence between your dad and I on the weekends)
"Mommy, you are really good at driving" - Titus on the way to school.
I will remind you of this in the future. haha
So much English now. We really don't speak a lot of Korean at home these days.
We're debating whether to send you to the same dual language program as your cousins for elementary school.
Friday, January 8, 2016
i don't know how many years and days old you are ... figure it out yourself
so i have decided to start the blog up again.
it is a bit unfair to Marcus. I did think about my future child #2 when I named this blog but I was going to deal with it when it happened. sorry Marcus (and sorry to perhaps #3 as well?)
There have been too many moments with you guys when I think "I want to remember this forever" and "I want to tell them about this when they grow up!" (which is everyday)
Scene:
11:00 pm. I just cooked ramen. Your dad is away on a trip to Vegas with his friends. Titus just watched Kung Fu Panda for the first time. Marcus had his 15 month check up with 3 shots today.
Titus - You had a stomach ache and pooped. Lately, you've been a threenager. But on that toilet, with your big puppy eyes you talked for 20 minutes. You told me about what you had for snack and lunch today. When I asked you what you had for snack today, you had the mind to ask me "which one?". You told me the snack I packed for school was "Yummy" (Pigs in a blanket). You were babbling on and on about Kung Fu Panda and suddenly said "Wait, what did I just said?" In your mind, you combined Big Hero 6 and Kung Fu Panda and told me a story you made up about Tai Lung fighting with the characters from Big Hero 6. You told me Fred, Honey Lemon, and Baymax are Dragon Warriors but Hero is not. "He's hiding and waiting for Baymax" you said. For 20 minutes you talked and talked as your eyes got sleepy and you continued to poop. "I'm not done yet" you said.
We're going on a trip to San Francisco next week. On the way to school, I told you we were going to visit Sanfransokyo and the island where the man in the mask was. At first you were really excited because we were finally going on vacation (I think your friends had gone on "vacation" over winter break and you had been asking for weeks if we could "go on vacation too") then you said you didn't want to visit the island with the man in the mask. "I scary of that"
You absolutely HATE it when I pick you up from school. You cry and ask for your dad. Today, I finally got smarter and took a bag of trader joe's popcorn with me, hidden in my jacket. I gave you a sneak peek, so that your friends wouldn't see, and you fell right into my trickery. haha. You ran willingly to give me a hug.
Marcus - my dear dear Marcus.
You're a funny one. As far as we can tell. You are very affectionate and friendly. We were hanging out at KTP after my eye exam and we were in a play room for a bit. You said hello, shared the toys, and played with everyone in the room. You waved hello and goodbye to all the people we walked by on the way to the car. Each night, you giggle and shower me with kisses until the moment you fall asleep.
I was talking with a grandpa in the playroom. It was nice to hear an elderly Korean man tell me he doesn't know how women raise all the children, it's so much hard work. He said that even though he rarely has the opportunity to look after his grandchild, he realized that women do so much. This was totally unexpected but encouraging and refreshing.
So your father is away in Vegas with 2 of his oldest buddies, just for two days. Yes I am a cool wife like that. You two surprised me tonight... Titus, you never asked where Dad was. I told you after school he was working late so that we can go on vacation next week and you never wondered thereafter. Marcus, you did call out "ahbbaaa ahbaaa" a few times before you went to bed.
All in all, I'm excited to start this up again. I can't wait to document more memories.
Time to eat my ramen now!
it is a bit unfair to Marcus. I did think about my future child #2 when I named this blog but I was going to deal with it when it happened. sorry Marcus (and sorry to perhaps #3 as well?)
There have been too many moments with you guys when I think "I want to remember this forever" and "I want to tell them about this when they grow up!" (which is everyday)
Scene:
11:00 pm. I just cooked ramen. Your dad is away on a trip to Vegas with his friends. Titus just watched Kung Fu Panda for the first time. Marcus had his 15 month check up with 3 shots today.
Titus - You had a stomach ache and pooped. Lately, you've been a threenager. But on that toilet, with your big puppy eyes you talked for 20 minutes. You told me about what you had for snack and lunch today. When I asked you what you had for snack today, you had the mind to ask me "which one?". You told me the snack I packed for school was "Yummy" (Pigs in a blanket). You were babbling on and on about Kung Fu Panda and suddenly said "Wait, what did I just said?" In your mind, you combined Big Hero 6 and Kung Fu Panda and told me a story you made up about Tai Lung fighting with the characters from Big Hero 6. You told me Fred, Honey Lemon, and Baymax are Dragon Warriors but Hero is not. "He's hiding and waiting for Baymax" you said. For 20 minutes you talked and talked as your eyes got sleepy and you continued to poop. "I'm not done yet" you said.
We're going on a trip to San Francisco next week. On the way to school, I told you we were going to visit Sanfransokyo and the island where the man in the mask was. At first you were really excited because we were finally going on vacation (I think your friends had gone on "vacation" over winter break and you had been asking for weeks if we could "go on vacation too") then you said you didn't want to visit the island with the man in the mask. "I scary of that"
You absolutely HATE it when I pick you up from school. You cry and ask for your dad. Today, I finally got smarter and took a bag of trader joe's popcorn with me, hidden in my jacket. I gave you a sneak peek, so that your friends wouldn't see, and you fell right into my trickery. haha. You ran willingly to give me a hug.
Marcus - my dear dear Marcus.
You're a funny one. As far as we can tell. You are very affectionate and friendly. We were hanging out at KTP after my eye exam and we were in a play room for a bit. You said hello, shared the toys, and played with everyone in the room. You waved hello and goodbye to all the people we walked by on the way to the car. Each night, you giggle and shower me with kisses until the moment you fall asleep.
I was talking with a grandpa in the playroom. It was nice to hear an elderly Korean man tell me he doesn't know how women raise all the children, it's so much hard work. He said that even though he rarely has the opportunity to look after his grandchild, he realized that women do so much. This was totally unexpected but encouraging and refreshing.
So your father is away in Vegas with 2 of his oldest buddies, just for two days. Yes I am a cool wife like that. You two surprised me tonight... Titus, you never asked where Dad was. I told you after school he was working late so that we can go on vacation next week and you never wondered thereafter. Marcus, you did call out "ahbbaaa ahbaaa" a few times before you went to bed.
All in all, I'm excited to start this up again. I can't wait to document more memories.
Time to eat my ramen now!
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